“A Room of One’s Own”: Gender & Prejudice in Therapy

Only 100 years ago, in England, you could be chased out of a library, then the only source of information, for being… a woman.

With layer upon layer of patriarchy and conditioning, in “A Room of One’s Own”, Virginia Woolf (having been chased from that library while trying to write the book) argues that a woman needed a “room of one’s own” and “£500 a year” (£40k today) just to feel secure enough to choose to write fiction in a ‘man’s world’.

There’s a hard-to-hear thought experiment in which Woolf supposes Shakespeare had had an equally-brilliant sister. Would Mlle. Shakespeare have been able to seek her fortune? Unlikely, is the conclusion. But Woolf suggests Shakespeare’s sister is out there TODAY and WILL have the ability to make it on her own.

Meanwhile, Woolf notes that just 100 years before her, Jane Austin was the first woman to write outside the lens of being, herself, a woman in a man’s world. It’s a powerful observation of skilful androgynous authorship that’s easy to overlook. (I see Harvey Weinstein made a cameo in his more recent Bride & Prejudice Bollywood remake).

Out in the ocean, where there isn’t a policy or law, the surf line-up still remains macho and exclusive. As is the case in many areas of life where pro-active gender equality (for want of a better word) is absent. But in many walks of life, how much is being male or female still an issue?

I trained as a counsellor in an establishment and profession which is roughly around 85% female. Where men are seen as, quote, “dangerous”. And I get it, as much as I can. I asked why. I asked what my colleagues’ experience was. I am grateful to them.

I also see how hard, but very different, it can be to be male in this world as well, where, for example, suicide stats are so skewed.

Do I work with men and women? Yes. I work with anyone where we can form a good therapeutic relationship. We’re all equally human and valuable, in an imperfect world. It’s what Carl Roger’s would call “unconditional positive regard”, and Buddhists would call “metta”. The empathy then takes the work.

A Room of One’s Own is widely available in print, but I listened to it on the way back from the Isle of Mull on Spotify. And, yes, it’s where Shakespeare’s Sister, and Morrissey, drew their inspiration from.

Angus (resisting pride, prejudice and AI every day)