my philosophy
proactive professional help – when you need it
Coaching, instagram, books, CBT, A.I. ... all have their place... but being fully listened to and witnessed by another human is rare and powerful. That's what you are paying for.
Congruence
I can help you unpack your stuff, see for yourself where unhelpful beliefs may be shaping your behaviours and moods, and then work with you to repack your life in a way that is authentic to you. This is not a prescribed and pre-packaged, one-size, instagram 'coaching solution'. This is you and me, and your work.
Would your life feel easier without all those "shoulds"? How can you actually live your life without "shoulds"? Where did those "shoulds" come from? Modern life gives us quick and easy solutions, but what do you really want?
You probably do know.
Empathy
My clients repeatedly say how powerful it is to have a calm, kind yet unfiltered mirror shone on their experience. "Yes, that's it. You get it. You get me.". I don't bring sugary sympathy or advice to our work together, just a blank slate where you and I can both experience how it is to be you (including all the messy bits)... and then find a way forward.
Judgment
Therapy works best with no judgment. Just open, trusting and kind relating between two people (one of whom happens to be a qualified professional).
Do you feel judged or labelled by anyone today? How helpful is that? Have you judged me already? Why? Did you notice yourself judging me?
Judging others can be a great survival mechanism... but being curious about others and choosing for ourselves how we might want our relationship to be with them, or to end, can be a much more healthy and powerful way to be. Bhuddism calls this metta, or 'Loving Kindness' (though I'm not Bhuddist). As therapists and counsellors we're taught Carl Rogers' concept of 'Unconditional Positive Regard''. But actually embodying this concept in our work together is where my value comes.
Proactive
My clients often find a 60 or 90 minute session can feel unexpectedly short, very deep, generate one or more new and fresh insights and be very productive.
My background in engineering, consulting and banking helps focus our work in a refreshing way. Couple that with what my clients say is a calm, warm, accepting and empathic relationship and we may have a recipe for some real progress.
“I feel much calmer. It's like I can now look down on my life from a helicopter rather than stressing.”
This is a repeated outcome of my client work